Catch-up – Revisit With Regards to Legs and Massage.

We seem to have gotten things in time. We will not have to bandage at night. What a relief. That sounded worse than a death sentence. Too much for Kris alone with everything else. I really feel I have begun to make some contributions around the house and in going out. Not much, but something. Gives me a little dignity. Tara and family will be here next month. Jessie loves Seattle U. These have been bad days for me. Tim and I went out to Olive Garden together yesterday. It was good for me. We will go to Seattle this week and meet with the other members of the clan.

Mike promised me he would not box. I begged him not to. Just when he gets his eyes fixed after all those years, he wants to lose them because he can’t quit when a guy is beating the shit out of him. We’ll see. They continue to break your heart and don’t ease up until there is nothing left. I know he will keep the promise. I didn’t want to do it, but I had to.

With The Good News – Comes Also The Bad (??)

This is my "after" picture. As you can see, not too bad, huh! I'll explain below.

The good – I’m still in a state of the cancer being controlled and that continues to be a miracle from the original 6 day death sentence; however, it now sounds like another incurable that will be a pest the rest of my life – it’s called lymphedema. It’s directly related to the swelling I have been having in my legs and the stockings I am still waiting for but should be here within days. My specialist may have some less dramatic information than I have found in the book she has shared with us. I hope she has and has caught the worst of this which I believe she has. She gave the book to Kris and said don’t allow me to see the pictures, but you know it became the only thing I was interested in seeing and reading about – sorry about that – Kris thinks they look like pictures of “elephant man”. Maybe that’s why I go to the Zoo so frequently.

You have to wear the stockings for the rest of your life and bandage them at night for the same period. She said she would teach us to bandage next visit. It looks like the – wise guy should have not flown to Denver after all. There are special concerns about flying. I’m still glad I didn’t know them – it was the opportunity of a life time and I’M GLAD NO ONE STOPPED ME. I’ve also been classified hypomanic which could be a good thing or a bad thing. Since I have a number of bad things creeping into my corner I’ll take it as good.

I continue to be out every day since I got my wheel chair, and although exhausting, it is also a good thing. I no longer fall asleep but pass out. Kris and I were at Nisqually – she was exhausted and revolutionary when I said I thought I could do the 5 1/2 mile trail. Thought she would feed me to the eagles. They may be back, but that doesn’t make them any less hungry.

Mike and Jessie had me to the Pound last week followed by lunch on Ruston Way and getting the tire fixed on the other car – too much for me - we skipped the Zoo, although Mike’s friend took me with his very sharp nine month old son – he’s trying to keep me young and doing a good job. I got some great pictures.

I’ve got loads of things on my medical schedule and saving an entire day for a full class in Adobe Photoshop. Got some financial stuff done when Kris’s sister was here for the month and they both got a lot accomplished with work around the house.

This Wheel Chair Has a Motor.

Yes freedom has arrived and after almost 2 years in bed. Except for medical related issues, I am out of prison. It is a dream machine – the Lamborghini of the wheelchair world. It can go 25 miles on one battery charge and it can do that at 6 miles per hour. It’s not easy for others to keep up with me.

This past weekend Mike and Jessie drove Kris and I to a Peace Corps friend’s wedding in Leavenworth. It was a great get-away for all of us. I knew the gal from my visit to Jamaica and knew them both from their visits to my home here after their return and relocation to Seattle and Deanna’s return to graduate school and work towards her Ph.D.

My pain changes constantly with medications and leaves me working with my doctors to reach some sort of stability - which I believe we are closing in on. My patch, which is an opiate, is just about at the top of the scale, but it has brought relief now that has been working for two weeks.

My new wheelchair brings with it – its own side effects. Edema is beginning to settle in. At the end of a day from sitting up in the chair – my feet, ankles and lower extremities of my legs are one big scary swollen mess. Today I went to be custom measured for my new beige compression stockings. They should be here within two weeks, and they should be “pretty.” Thank God for having the right insurance – the wrong insurance would have result in an “off the shelf” compression stocking that they claim would not really work well. She thought that some damage has already taken place and wanted to prevent as much as possible in the future. She was very pleased with the containment steps I had taken even not knowing what to do. This is one of those things that can lead to serious side effects that become no fun. I should have the stockings within the next two weeks.

Frank Gets the Electric Chair!

Another visit with Dr. VanBuskirk, the team continues to define positions and that’s more good news for me. Even the best specialists in the world need time together to become as one, and mine is going in just that direction. They talk to themselves, to each other, to staff, to support departments. And they study well all the supporting organizations that can assist me. All this, while keeping an eye on the restrictions and allowances of my insurance plans and personal finances.

Yesterday was reinforcement and reflection in the area of pain with discussion of modifications – the good and bad of some thinking and further discussions with other team members, but I left convinced that I was also a member of the team with medical goals that would continue to be respected in decisions being made.

WOW! Blood draws and further analysis of my medical stats which we hope will continue to remain stable. Cross your fingers, but better still, say a prayer from your heart and soul. Next week time with Dr. Cox, My Doctor Columbo, who is always in the driver’s seat making the tough medical recommendations and decisions when necessary. I thank God for him every day.

Through the goodness of relatives, personal savings and medical plans, as of next Friday, we will have our new lift installed on our new 2004 Honda Odyssey. I’ve had an electric chair for two weeks, and it is the cat’s meow. It runs on the ceiling, climbs trees, scares bears, and has Kris huffing and puffing beside me. It has brought me unbelievable freedom of movement, and participation in retreats. It has instilled new interest in my drawing, writing, and desire to move about (yesterday – 4 hours out in fresh air). My breathing seems deeper and limbs feel stronger. I’ve got to remember the brittleness of my body, but all test drives bring me a renewed hope. The engineering is remarkable. I’ve got to stay away from teenagers who are known to go their full six miles an hour in reverse with eyes closed. My eyes would be closed but for different reasons. Excuse my excitement – I’ll get off this one. Don’t be surprised if you see the MP’s chasing me across the Parade Field one of these days - on the way to the Chapel.

My sister-in-law, Sheila, returned home to the east coast yesterday, after a four week stay with us. It was another of those wonderful visits. Every moment was spent in doing what she knew needed to be done. There remained the normal flow of visits from others, along with medical obligations, which seem to exponentially grow each month. Loads of laughs and good cheer with the care-giver who herself needs a lot of good cheer after almost two years now of unrelenting good care. She was almost out of here yesterday to deliver some cheer to grandson, Kellan, who is in two full leg casts. Further thought and reflection and use of other resources led to other decisions, and she’ll remain my #1 unless there are other changes that pop up.

One day retreat out to Hood Canal was excellent. We were able to take Sheila along with us, and it was a growth day for all of us. Nice facility, people, food and invitation for return visit. Ended with a request from Retreat Master for Private Mass for a friend who had just died several weeks ago. I continue to find a place for myself with whatever days I have remaining. I am better able to internalize my studies of life (history) reason (philosophy), and the Word of God and Living Tradition within the Church – the people of God in union with the hierarchy of the Church and find it not only to be mind boggling, refreshing, insightful and remain sane. I search each day for Peace with my brothers and sisters, an understanding of them through their reflections as poets, writers, people and individuals of love. Yes, there are frustrations, but there are breakthroughs and it helps so much. My doctor yesterday returned my updated book with such compliments and requests to be updated as I move ahead that I didn’t need my wheelchair when I left the office. It was where I wanted to be, and he evidently hit some of the points in his review that I had long searched for. That’s why you are getting murdered this morning by the length of this blog. However, I write when I can, and the last few months have been tough ones.

I’ll continue to reflect upon this. I do have a horrible disease, and I am under massive doses of drugs and opiates that leave me frequently in no man’s land. Enough said. God bless you all and hang in there with us. It’s nice just knowing you are there.

Zoe Brooklyn & Grandpa