The Birds Are Back

Debi Kabisch - My Guardian Angel Nurse

What a time for me! What a time for Laura! I’m getting to see them again and enjoying every moment and she is seeing them for the first time as a potential meal. Last summer she was merely curious – this summer we need to watch her.

I can’t wait for all the new signs of continued life I’ll be seeing during the next few weeks. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to re-find my backside and then get off it and around to enjoy the beauty that surrounds us. Kris and I keep promising ourselves that we’ll spend more time at Nisqually. I really want to get serious about taking pictures and then following up with watercolor. The year before last I got a lot of pictures of some deer. One night - Bill Bettyas and I went down to Nisqually just take pictures. We took a poor evening - lots of pictures - and I came away with one of the barn with a storm brewing over it that I’m very happy with just that one.

Sometimes we want everything to go our way, but that’s not the way it works. Even great artists have huge wastepaper baskets. Once you change your audience from others being happy with your work - to simply you being happy with it - you have reached the doable. Most of the stuff I have hanging from walls you would have probably hid it, but for me – it represents something new – something I gave a shot to – something I invested a lot of time into and got a lot of personal reward out of. If I would be completely lucky – maybe one other person might also get some pleasure out of it. It doesn’t represent my weakness, but rather my strength. I’m a very limited human being, but that’s okay because God still loves me despite - if not because of - my inadequacies. I’ll never be a Johnny Unitas, but I sure had fun throwing a football, and I’m glad I gave it a shot. Only a fool really thinks there can be two Johnny Unitas’s.

The birds are back and as I look out the window I would almost think some of the warmth of summer is also lingering around out there. My praying continues to move from the finality of something to the beginning of something else - from the end of life to the renewal of new life. I don’t know where (I must have been sleeping) the word death disappeared from our vocabulary, but please don’t hesitate to use it in my regard. I will die, but I will more fully live the beginning of my new life. I’m not waiting for a space vehicle, but a smile from the Father, the guidance of the Holy Spirit and the companionship of Jesus Christ. When the birds are all back I’m hoping that my spirit will be fully alive no matter what the state of my body.

As I wait for the doctor’s guidance this week as to the new strategy, cross your fingers and pray for all those who have asked for those prayers. Have a great week and look for the birds. They are out there, and they are worth the look.

Another Beautiful Day, and It Really is!

Updates:

Waiting for continued insight into remission/non-remission questions and change of strategy. About 2 weeks out to learn more.

Into 2nd week of Mind/Body classes and getting a lot from class/homework and working through everything with Kris. A real integration of the things we need to be into at this time. We still struggle for a time and do get overwhelmed.

Retreat: I don’t want to bore you but the spiritual part of who I am has been very much shaped by my spiritual and religious development - absolutely critical to me. In fact, I’m not sure of where I would be without it. The personal retreat has led me to searching the scriptures to see what there is of my immediate future. I’m focused on the passage of the Transfiguration – it seems to be very appropriate for me – when this whole thing started I wanted to see Jesus alone, and I was ready to pitch tent and stay with that vision, but the Father said – there are things yet to be done. Since then I have been trying to find those things and continue to find my way. It has been very fruitful. If interested – look it up yourself.

Nice weather – it really helps to get this nice weather – went out to eat yesterday with my son Tim and his son Monty – 3 generations of Kabisch – the abuse of the name will continue into the future – may he have thick skin.

Two Issues From The Snow of My Window

Still in Limbo (That'’s Theological Talk) - Remission or Non Remission?
I covered most of this issue in my last blog and would just as soon leave it there until the continued month trial ends. My Allenmore Stress and Meditation Class tonight was cancelled due to weather, and we'’ll fly by the seat of our pants tomorrow with regards to my lab blood work. If the weather is bad, we'’ll wait until Monday to go. I think that ends the housekeeping side of things.

Laura
One important question I might need to discuss with a more wiser person than myself - Am I having too many intense conversations with Laura, my therapeutic cat? I enjoy them - her responses are pretty solid -– she continues to learn new tricks although I'’m very proud of our fetch routine. She'’s been here a good amount of time, and I think she tends to still be grateful for getting her out of that darn cage with the two others she was in with. Presently, she is storming through the two rooms I have set aside up here on the second floor. She seems to have two gears - one - when she is going slow preparing to pounce on my chest from some hidden direction. The other - when she tops 90 MPH and takes down everything in the way. That'’s when I can use some continued guidance on my language with her. If she were a parrot - she'’d have quite a vocabulary herself. I also better understand now what it really means when you say "“she'’s climbing the walls."” She spends a lot of time at ceiling height. I have a few words for that also as she brings down some of my pictures as I'’m clearing up shattered glass. I'’ll touch back on these issues at a later time. Meanwhile - any insight into my behavior - please share.

Hang in there - stay well -– keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

From my bed - Frank