Frank's service will be held at:
St. Leo's Church, Tacoma, WA
Thursday, April 14th
12:10 PM
Burial at Cavalry Cemetery immediately following
Link to obituary:
I struggled with writing this blog for two reasons. 1) - when I posted the blog about Father Stan Rother, as I sat next to my dad dying, I thought maybe it was meant to be the last post? Maybe it was what he wanted? 2) He should have had the opportunity to write his last blog. With those things said, I decided for many other reasons to post again. I write this knowing it will never live up to what I want it to be and short of what he would have written. How do you sum up such a full life of 74 years in a blog? I can't. I won't attempt. May the pictures that follow convey everything I cannot possibly express. In looking back through old photos, there are not too many of my dad; he took most of the pictures. The pictures have a theme of red shirts (and/or pants), beer in hand, someone sleeping in his lap and again - love, lots of love.
This is my personal post. I encourage the rest of the family to add an entry (they write much better than I do). In the coming weeks and months we will sell the house and move my mom to Denver. I will continue to update this blog to inform about my mom, share some of dad's writings and art work, and to honor him. He was very concerned with the blog disappearing after he died. I hope I can help it live on. A thank you to Bill and Jason for starting it years ago. It brought him great peace and I am so happy we have it today.
In the five years my dad was sick, there were few complaints. Not a complaint about trips he would never take, food he would never cook, grandchildren he would ever carry, the daily pain, and many cold, long trips to the doctor. I felt so often he was robbed of many good years, but I don't think he would agree. When it took forever for a diagnosis to his illness, he cried only once - when he heard he had cancer. I told him I was so sorry, and he told me that's not why he was upset. He was upset because finally, finally he knew what was wrong. I think at that moment, very early on he accepted it, embraced it. He missed work tremendously and helping the soldiers and contributing to other's welfare. Again, he felt he still had so much to give.
Jim, Kellan and I were living with my parents when my dad was diagnosed. They had converted their master bedroom into a painting room/office. I was fortunate to take my job from CA to WA with me and settled into this room for 8 hours a day. Within a couple months of us moving in dad got sick. We moved a hospital bed into the room - it was the biggest room in the house, with the best view of the lake he loved so much. He lived day and night in this room for the rest of his life. I remained in the room to work. My dad bought a "therapeutic" cat - Laura. God I hated that cat. She was notorious for eating wires, jumping on me when I least expected it. Overnight my dad went from driving, grocery shopping, going to work to being bedridden. Yet, as I worked all day in his room he never asked for anything. When I would get up to be "off work" at the end of the day he would ask me for a few things - he always waited until the end of the day. Even if I offered he would pretend he didn't need anything until I was done working. I can't imagine how hard that was, to give up all your independence to rely so heavily on other people.
As I was writing this on the plane ride home from WA, there was a baby screaming behind me. All I could think of was, if my dad were sitting in my seat, he would probably be turning around saying to the woman "Here, here, give her to me. Babies love me." The babies in his life were so special to him. He loved babies and they did love him.
Again, I keep saying "Again" - as I've written this over the last few days the word kept coming to mind. I think the hardest thing for him in life was not his cancer, but being out of work at different intervals in his career, feeling he had let us all down. During that time he wrote some poems.
AGAIN
As I walk I see them
Buds of hope in our trees
Again they begin again
Their process of renewal
With eyes unskilled
And finite mind
I stand in wonder again and am energized
As the tree unfolds its life
I'll forget
And time will pass
Before I look again
And when I do
I'll be renewed
By life unfilled
And brutally unparalleled
Once again
Two weeks before my 35th birthday I moved to Denver...and lost the job I had taken from CA to WA, to CO. That was exactly four years ago. My dad was over a year into his treatment. He knew how I felt all too well. He flew out alone. Sitting for any length of time was painful, between the car rides and the plane ride it's not the quickest trip. I will never forget that day. I had bragged to him about the wonderful CO sunshine, a big reason we had left WA - it poured rain. He took me to Costco and bought me a necklace I often wear. As my mom liked to say about their frequent Costco trips "Costco has it - Kabisch buys it."
I'd like to thank everyone that touched his life: the nurses, doctors, and pharmacist who contributed to keeping him alive past the disease's life expectancy, to hospice who gave him dignity in death and us selfless support, the friends & neighbors who corresponded, visited and wished him well - his and ours, our families; aunts and uncle, nieces, and our in-laws - who not only supported & inquired about him, but also us. I cannot say enough. Debi, Jessie & Jim were there for him from the very beginning to the very end, doing more than what could be expected from someone's own child. His wish of dying at home was largely in part due to their care and I thank them. These five years gave him another daughter-in-law, two more grandchildren and the knowledge of a fifth.
Through it all - there was my mom (Chloe a.k.a Kris). It would have been their 40 yr wedding anniversary in June. They knew each other more than half their lives. My dad worshipped my mom. Though at times it may not have seemed that way hearing him yell "KRIS!, KRIS!" from his bedroom in frustration. What my mom did for my dad over these years cannot be put into words - I could say "sacrifice", I could say "she gave her life", it was a full time "job" - but she would not say any of those things, I think she would simply say that it was for love, it was a privilege and there was no place she would have rather been then by his side.
There is no perfect family here; there were bad days and days we all drove each other crazy, disagreed & regretted things, but in the end I believe we are a family that can be found downstairs any night: talking, laughing, drinking, eating, reminiscing - with dad "upstairs" listening - happy, very happy. To this I toast with some of his favorite beverages; I toast with a glass of wine to his life on Ryerson Street, his enduring Brooklyn accent and his devotion to the Priesthood, I toast a Manhattan for everything he sacrificed, I toast with a Bourbon and Ginger for the tireless working years, and I toast a pint of beer for everything in between: marriage, family, friends, cancer - to what is life, his life.
My mom may have said it best, simple - "Priest, Husband, Father, Grandfather."
I love you dad, I will miss you, and I will see you Again
"Hang in There, God Bless"
Tara
Brooklyn, NY 1937
Father and Son
Mount St. Mary's
Ordination 1965 (above & below) 
1971 - Mom & Dad
1972 - Tara, Mom & Dad
Tara & Dad
Mike & Dad
Tim & Dad - Love those smiles
1973 - A picture he carried in his wallet
At Disneyland with Karen & Father Cooney
With his nieces - Roger Kohl, Barbara & Pat Devine, Peggy Kohl
1990
Tim's Bellarmine Graduation
At U of W - Tara, Mike, Tim got a "full ride" care of mom and dad
X-mas 1992
1994 - Tara UW Grad - Dad 3rd Masters Degree Grad
Mike's UW graduation
Visiting Mike in the Peace Corps, Kingston, Jamaica 1999
Tara & Jim Wedding 1999
Tim & Debi Wedding
Susan & Bill Bettyas
Mike's Masters Graduation - Notre Dame, MD
With Peggy, Barbara & Father Cooney
X-Mas 2002
Aug 2003 - At Kellan James Munholland's birth - talking to G-Ma
One of my favorite pictures. Dexter was 1 wk old, Jim was away, I took a 10 minute shower. I can only hope Kellan fell asleep before dad - notice the glass of wine...
X-Mas 2003
St. Francis Prep 50th High School Reunion
CORPUS 20th Anniversary at the house in Lakewood, WA
X-Mas 2004
Parasailing at Steve Cummings wedding in Mexico
Ft. Lewis
Born May 2005 - With Montgomery Pope
Diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma Ph II Fall 2005
Dec 2005 with Zoe Brooklyn - she was born at the same hospital he was receiving chemo - MultiCare/Tacoma General
X-Mas 2005
Zoe's Baptism with Karen
Monty
Zoe
Zoe's 1st birthday
X-Mas 2006 - Debi, Tara & Jessie
One of my favorites with Zoe
LAURA
Trip to CO for my 35th B-day
X-Mas 2007
2nd trip to CO
Exercising with the kids
X-Mas 2007
One of our favorite places Pt. Defiance Zoo & Aquarium
Born July 2009 with Dexter Rawlings
With the kids
That was probably a bad idea later - a BIG burger from the RAM
Tim, Monty & dad at a Rainer's game
With Jessie
With his boys
Love this picture with Monty
March 23, 2011 with Dexter & Jessie - final picture...just not enough with Dexter...
I took this picture of Dexter in March 2011 in Madera where our family has lived since 1987 as dad was home on hospice - he loved the neighborhood & I think he would have loved this picture...he died 1 week later.
