Where are you now?

I want to get a blog written, in the hope that one of you out there might just take a second to write back and say hello. I’ve missed the comments and the shortest entry goes such a long way to bolster my spirits. If you have a moment, would you just drop me a line? I think of you often and would love to know the feeling is mutual.

I’ve been having exchanges with various individuals as to whether there might be some role for me to play in helping to prevent veteran suicides. Two weeks ago I was speaking with a former counselor still involved who was hurting over the last suicide right there at Ft. Lewis. You can’t imagine how I envy so many of you for the work you are doing for the veteran. I think envy is an appropriate and descriptive word to describe my feelings. I don’t think a day or week goes by that you don’t impact a soldier in need. A soldier, who doesn’t even know or understand some of that confusion and anxiety that churns them up and leaves them lying by the side of the road hurting from a blast they never saw or experienced until it was just too late. Their security guard was off the hook and they thought being back was going to be enough to make everything go away. It’s not too long after they’re off the plane and hit home soil that the voice inside speaks out asking what’s next. Who do I turn to and where do I go? Is there anyone out there that really cares? Will someone show me they are doing more than a job? The soldier at first gives us the benefit of the doubt. They meet us and they want to believe that we really care. They are not always looking for the right answer, but having the right answer to their problems will earn you millions of miles of recognition for a job well done. Few people at Ft. Lewis have an opportunity each night of going home able to say sincerely, today I made a difference. I am so jealous of you and I envy you so much. The soldiers you serve are for the most part just good people. You are honored by just serving them and making a difference in their lives and the lives of their families. God bless you for who you are and for what you do. Your work brings a sense of love and wards off suicide.

If you can figure out how I might help in sharing with you in the work you do, please write me a comment. With continued respect for you, I am

Frank Kabisch

A Home of Hope!!!

From my bed, can I still make a contribution. It has been getting cold in Seattle. Very cold. My son asked, dad, can I have your clothes to give to my guys. His guys are the homeless of Seattle. He has been successful in finding homes, but was in need clothing wise. Mike and his mom wiped out my closets and my bureaus. I find comfort in knowing others walk the streets in my place and in warmth. He said they seemed very pleased. However, that’s not much. You can really get more for your investment. Take note of the above this address. http://www.homeofhopeindia.org/index.php

Several weeks ago, I said to Kris that I would like to make a contribution of some sort to support the work on behalf of girls. Something to make them more free in a very hostile world and prepare them for leadership roles tomorrow. Bingo,

http://www.homeofhopeindia.org/index.php

The answer to my quest. You’ll find within this web page an article by Paul Wilkes that allows us to reach across nations and get a tremendous ROI. Every business man/woman looks for the greatest ROI before investing their labor and material blessings. Many have been burned by Barney Madoff and others, but I’ve found the greatest potential. God made the initial investment and left room for us to find ourselves by giving of ourselves. Perhaps you too, can take the shirt off your back and the loose change that might still be left in your pockets. If God calls me from my cancer bed that will be one thing, but if I’m able to still make a contribution how much better, but how colossal if I hear not only “you’re in remission” but the rest of the invitation, “pick up your pallet and walk”.

This past week, Dr Cox said all is positive and I have been walking. Not far and not all that steady but walking. Encourage me, “don’t look down, look straight ahead, set a newer target, grab my hand, allow me to help.”

One of the brothers, Bro. Jarlath, in my high school, St. Francis Prep, Brooklyn was about a quarter of a mile from the finish line of the largest cross country race at Cortland Park in NY. We stretched out at the start in the hundreds. I, like a fool, ran my ass off and found myself hurting so badly, but in the upper numbers as we stretched out towards the finish. I wanted to die and I wanted to give up. I felt so alone! Jarlath, wouldn’t let me. He screamed like a maniac that if I hung in there I could make a real difference and he ran with me for part of the remaining distance. Before collapsing head first into the dirt, I crossed the finish line. I hated cross country with a passion. It took so much out of me. I finished seventh which added enough points to the team score, no medal that they finished first.

Could you spare a nickel or dime for these girls? There is no Barney Madoff here, but yet they will return sevenfold at least,+++plus.

God bless

Merry Christmass

http://www.homeofhopeindia.org/index.php

Thanksgiving

Today will mark the end of my passivity. I’ve allowed myself to become passive and accepting of today and tomorrow. I’m going to give myself a different shot each day. I’m going to plan each day and those plans are going to be pro active. I’m going to rebuild this old body and attempt to remodel it into what it was meant to be. A fitting temple of the Holy Spirit. That is old catechism language, but I think language that befits my goals of today.

It’s a shame the way we treat Thanksgiving. I should really speak for myself, the way I treat Thanksgiving. Although, we share the feast with Canada, I like to think of it as particularly ours. It’s a feast made and fashioned for the needs of today. It was not founded in abundance, but rather in the poverty and hardships of the time. It seems sad if so many of us have been battered in ways we never thought possible. A security born from dedication and had work failed in delivering its promises. There are so many of us still unable to determine what hit us.

I’ll have to leave this blog to you individual experiences or I’ll be writing for days on end. I’m surrounded with reasons to be truly thankful. I’ll mention just a very few. My health care professionals have been incredibly helpful in my life. As our nation fights to fix a broken system, individuals within that system fight like super stars to bring a touch of love to all they serve. I’m thankful. My family and friends have never let me down. They have created a touchstone of comfort and warmth in which I am able to heal and grow.

Kris is a superstar. She awakes and goes to sleep each day spent. There is little left for herself after emptying every bit of goodness out for others. She is a model of wife, mother, child, spiritual being and just plain old fashioned goodness. It’s so good to see her recognized by all as one they would love to have as wife, mother, friend and companion. Her marvels are many and her goodness sublime.

Finally, I’m thankful for today and this moment as I remember and recall a life filled with gifts. I’m regretful, but find it less productive than love. I’m going to try and make this a love filled day for those around me. I’m going to try and make a difference by being different.

Hang in there.

Post Celebration

Those days come and go so fast. That moment of celebration with a modicum of success since cancer first into my life. I wanted a day to thank all who had made that day possible. It was a great day and all played a part in making it happen. Boy, so much to be thankful for and even more once it had come and gone.

No sooner had I made a firm resolution to become less of a burden than I fell flat on my face. It's been overwhelming to recall all that others have done for me. I couldn't begin to think of expecting them to hang on with me through another few years. I wanted to release them from the terrible burden giving so much of their lives to me. How could I continue you to allow them always to put me so high on their calendar of events. As I said above, no sooner had I made a resolution of less dependence than I found myself at Allenmore Hospital here in Tacoma. Several trips to the emergency room and one very intense visit to my specialist and tests galore, out comes the Gall Bladder. It was double in size and had infected a great deal of other parts of the intestine and stomach. However, it's all over, started on Monday and today is friday. I was home the first day and could have been out and about by Wednesday. Everything is under control and all is well.

Now, what do I do? How do I go about being less of a burden on others. I really don't know, but I honestly want to give it a try and become more of a giver than a taker. In all humility, I'll continue to say thank you, but more an more try to change my ways.

Most Beautiful Day

Most Beautiful Day

Only I can appreciate most fully all of the things done on my behalf over these last four years. I think everyone finally got what I wanted so desperately to communicate. Thank you for giving me four more years to enjoy you and my grand-children. We now had concrete proof that the doctors, medications, love, prayers and sacrifices of all had somehow worked. They impacted our everyday life in a way that brought us to our knees and we were witnesses of the work of the Holy Spirit. I don’t care of what religious or non-religious persuasion you may be. I don’t care that you are or are not having difficulties with your faith, but we together witnessed something very unique that busted our bubble as to having all the answers involved in life itself. Last night, I went to a lecture at Pacific Lutheran University given by Dom John Crossan. He is the fore-most recognized Jesus scholar in the world today. He has turned history about Jesus upside down. One of the items he touched upon, were the miracles. He spoke of the miracles with incredible simplicity. All were witnesses of unexplainable goodness. His best friend was so dead he smelled to high heaven and yet he still returned to life. I would not dare speak of miracle in my case. All I wished to do was to stop in a moment of time and re-invite my family and friends to revisit as witness what was now happening in my life. Four years ago we shared the news that I would be dead within a week and today the tests and all else seem to indicate my cancer is in remission.

Prior to my day of celebration I met with my two key experts, Drs. Vanbuskirk, and Cox. I saw Cox at 9 am. After a battle with my Gall Bladder from 2 am. I’ve never experienced more intense pain. At 7am, I refused to return to the emergency room, which would have been my third visit. All, rather traumatic for me. Again, at 7am I agreed to my patches being changed which were of no help in relieving my pain. I took 5 Oxycodins which gave me relief, but by that time I was an emotional wreck. Dr. Cox saw me immediately and spent most of the morning with me. He sent me for another scan, talked about a Gastroenterologist, and wanted me to have another test called a Haida, that exam fell through the cracks when it required me to remove my opium patches for in excess of eight plus hours. Dr. Cox thought that to be totally unacceptable. This afternoon I called Dr. Hofstroph’s office to move the process forward.

I’m sorry for the side-tracks which I blame on my medications. Tara and her family were in town, Jessie was not there four years ago, but she is no less a contributor to my physical turn around. Her healing gifts are priceless and like all the others, it is impossible to be in their presence without having your morale rise sky-high. Tim and Debi provided the wine for toasting. Jim dug deep down and came up with a great recipe that was devoured and actually spoke up and said special occasion. As I did, four years ago, I asked all to listen, so as best I could tell them how much I loved them and how thankful I was to have them love me so deeply. How, is it possible for one person to be so gifted. I feel so selfish in having so much love while so many others are so starved by the lack of love in their lives. Some are so starved that their illness just destroys them, when they could so easily be turned around by a kind gesture or a spoonful of food given by a loving hand. I’ve got to stop here before I get lost again. I’m writing this to extend myself out of that room to the so may others who so unselfishly loved me in their thoughts, prayers and good works. Pray that I don’t spoil the gifts given and not desperately try to find ways to pay back the remainder of my days. I just talked with one of my doctors and she’s sending me to a surgeon. It looks like the gall bladder is coming out.

With all my love.
Frank Kabisch